Grief

Myths about grief

Myth: The pain will go away faster if you ignore it.
Fact: Trying to ignore your pain or keep it from surfacing will only make it worse in the long run. For real healing it is necessary to face your grief and actively deal with it.

Myth: It’s important to be “be strong” in the face of loss.
Fact: Dealing with loss is not easy. Emotions can be quite overwhelming and intense. Expressing these emotions for e.g. crying does not mean you are weak but will help you through the natural grieving process. You don”t need to protect your family or friends by putting on a brave front. Being strong includes knowing what your needs are when dealing with loss and working through it. This may include speaking to your GP or seeking a support service that will help you deal with your bereavement appropriately. ‘Being strong’ does not mean suffering in silence!

Myth: If you don’t cry, it means you aren’t sorry about the loss.
Fact: Crying is a normal response to sadness, but it’s not the only one. Those who don’t cry may feel the pain just as deeply as others. They may simply have other ways of showing it.

Myth: Grief should last about a year.
Fact: There is no right or wrong time frame for grieving. How long it takes can differ from person to person. It is important to mind yourself throughout the grieving process and consider outside support to help you through it.

Excerpt from ‘Lighting the way

Suicide grief

We will all experience grief in our lifetimes. Grief is a natural response to loss.

Suicide grief is different.

The feelings may be more intense, they may last longer. Some experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress or complicated grief.

Be kind to yourself. Don’t put yourself under too much pressure. Seek help.


Further reading

lighting-the-way-cover

Lighting the way
HSE North Lee Community Work Department, HSE Health Action Zone (HAZ), An Garda Siochana

This Irish publication provides information on common questions, early grief and mourning, helping children and memorials. In addition it provides help on managing social networking accounts following a bereavement.
While it has a host of information about services local to Ireland, it also contains a lot of information relevant to all.